


Pining

by Colelockian



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, One Shot, Other, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 11:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1856374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colelockian/pseuds/Colelockian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin finds himself in love with Arthur and tries to hide it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pining

“No, no, no!” Merlin chants as he walks down the hall to retrieve Prince Arthur’s dinner.

The man is being a royal prat, though it is his right, but Merlin is irritated more about the fact that he is an adorably gorgeous prat! Blonde hair and unbelievable blue eyes that light up just right whenever Arthur laughs. It is unfair! Merlin deals with the man daily, worrying over the multitude of chores, but now he is pining!

_Pining!_

The word is even disgusting and Merlin wants to melt away into the ground. He is still struck by the gravity of his newfound realization. All Merlin had been doing was changing the Prince’s bed sheets when Arthur had returned to his rooms.

The Prince had just finished training and was strutting around shirtless. Sweat gleaming on his well-defined chest with bulging muscular arms. The sparse golden chest hair had turned darker with the sweat. The thick blonde hair that never had any sense of control was plastered to his head and his normally unblemished skin had dirt streaked across the already sun tanned flesh.

That’s the moment that Merlin knew he loved Arthur. He knew before he cared for the Prince even if he was the biggest prat at times but seeing his friend covered in the remains of a hard days training all Merlin could think was:

_Wow!_

Merlin hadn’t realized he was staring until Arthur cleared his throat several times. It took everything to drag his eyes to those of the other man’s.

“Merlin!” The Prince called standing before the manservant waving a hand in front of his eyes. “Have you finally broken that small brain of yours?”

The stupidity flowing from Arthur’s mouth pulled Merlin back to the moment. “I’ll go get dinner!” He had shouted dropping the sheets in his hands and basically fled the room.

“Bloody, fantastic!” Merlin growls before pushing the kitchen door open.

As he waits for the meal to be finished, Merlin’s mind wanders back to Arthur’s sweat drenched body. Grim and dirt clinging to the already slick body almost made the manservant drool. Watching the Prince on the practice pitch is one of Merlin’s favorite pass times.

Arthur is a wonder on the battle field. You can almost call it dancing the way the man moves when wielding a sword. The weapon is never a separate form but a part of Arthur’s being. It moves along with the Prince so smoothly and quick that those not paying close enough attention loose it.

Merlin openly stares when he sees this and has been chided many times not to. Now here he is, finally realizing that he is in love with the pigheaded prince.

_What am I going to do?!_

Grabbing up the food Merlin grunts out his thanks before hurrying towards Arthur’s room. Half way there he stops.

_Why should he hurry?_

He is mad at that clotpoll for doing this to him! If he weren’t so attractive and flaunting his good looks, Merlin wouldn’t be in this situation.

_Let his dinner get cold!_

Sighing, Merlin begins walking again. It isn’t Arthur’s fault but that’s not going to stop Merlin from being mad at the other man for a while.

Getting to the Prince’s rooms he doesn’t knock as he walks in.

“Took your time didn’t you?” Arthur says from his chair at his table.

“I had to make sure all the maids in the kitchen got a chance to spit in your food before I brought it up.” Merlin shot back wearily.

Arthur gives him a curious look. “Are you alright?”

Merlin shrugs setting the tray of food down on the table. “I’m fine.” Though it doesn’t sound sincere.

The Prince frowns, narrowing his eyes as he peers at Merlin. “Sit.” He orders gesturing to the chair across from him.

Merlin looks at the chair contemplating arguing but in the end he just sits.

“Now I know something is wrong,” Arthur says looking concerned, “You don’t follow orders very well Merlin, so tell me what is wrong?”

Merlin sighs, falling back against his chair, “I assure you it’s nothing.” The words are flat and unconvincing.

Arthur’s eyes go wide and he lets a moment pass in silence.

“You assure me?” He repeats, slowly leaning closer to his manservant. “Merlin I’m not going to stop asking until you tell me what’s wrong.”

Merlin feels his anger flare up, twisting his magic in an unpleasant way. He stands up quickly. “If that is all sire, I shall retire for the night.” The warlock hurries from the room before Arthur can call him back.

Merlin doesn’t want to feel this way. He doesn’t want this frustrating love that he has for the Prince, his Prince. THE Prince! Arthur is leeching into him in an unhealthy way.

Merlin doesn’t speak to Gaius when he arrives; he goes straight up to his room and tries to sleep. His dreams are plagued by Arthur, mostly a sweaty and moaning Arthur. He wakes every few hours panting and growing angrier.

 

The next morning his head is throbbing and sending shooting pain through his whole body. Merlin dresses slowly and goes downstairs.

Gaius is cooking and the smell is nauseating. “I made your favorite.” The old physician says seeming to be in a rather good mood.

“Not hungry.” Merlin mutters as he passes out the door.

Out in the courtyard Merlin pours water over his head. The cool wetness decreases the pressure in his skull slightly. Taking several deep breathes of damp morning air, Merlin prepares himself for the day ahead.

He starts at the kitchen to grab breakfast for Arthur; it is the usual plate of potatoes and eggs. Taking the stairs, Merlin hopes this is a morning that Arthur is already up and gearing for the day. He really doesn’t want to have to wake the Prince.

Luck is not on his side when Merlin walks into Arthur’s rooms. The morning is just getting worse and worse.

Not only is the Prince still sleeping, he is shirtless as well. Arthur normally sleeps without a shirt but now that Merlin has come to an understanding about his new infatuation, it magnifies this fact.

Grumbling, Merlin moves to set the tray down on the table; noting that the tray from the night before is still sitting there with half the food still on it. He then draws to the side of the bed and looks down on the sleeping man.

Arthur looks like a boy when his face is slack with sleep. His lips are slightly parted and his quiet breathing is the only noise in the room.

The Prince is lying on his stomach with the sheets crumpled around his waist. The smooth lines of his back muscles draw Merlin’s eyes. He traces the tanned flesh, lingering on the sparse scars from long gone battles.

Taking a deep breath and forcing his eyes shut Merlin renews the walls he’s erecting to put a stop to his longing. When he feels he’s prepared, Merlin lets his eyes fall open and he keeps his eyes on the pillow not being used on Arthur’s bed. Grabbing it up he retreats a few steps before chucking it with a little help from a strand of magic right at the Prince’s head.

The pillow hits the target.

The second it connects with Arthur’s head, the Prince sits up sharply. He has a knife ready in his hand as he frantically scans the room, his eyes quickly falling on his manservant.

“Good you’re up.” Merlin greets as if nothing has happened.

Arthur’s hair sticks up at all angles as he glares at Merlin throwing the pillow back. “Idiot, I could have killed you.” The pillow misses and flies off into the unknown.

Merlin shrugs. “I haven’t the faintest of what you are talking about I just brought you breakfast.” 

“You are a terrible liar.” The Prince says as he gets out of bed after sliding his knife back under his pillow.

Merlin makes sure his eyes are looking anywhere but at Arthur when the man takes his seat in front of his breakfast. “I’ll just take these to the kitchen.” The manservant says picking up the tray from dinner.

“Are you ever going to tell me what’s wrong?” The Prince asks before Merlin makes it to the door.

Merlin sighs. “Nothing is wrong.” He answers.

There is no way in this lifetime that Merlin will ever be having a conversation with Prince Arthur about his feelings.

_No, never, not going to happen._

For one: Arthur will not only mock him but will also call Merlin a girl, which he is not, and for two: Merlin will most likely be sacked as Arthur’s manservant and make it near impossible to keep the Prince safe.

Merlin is Arthur’s manservant but Arthur is the once and future king of Albion and the other half of Merlin’s coin. It is Merlin’s job to make sure that Arthur is able to become that king.

On his way to the kitchen a passing maid offers to take the tray leaving Merlin to return to Arthur’s rooms.

“Merlin, come sit with me.” The Prince orders once Merlin is back.

Reluctantly the warlock does as he says and manages to keep his eyes from looking at Arthur. He can feel the other man’s gaze on him and Merlin wants nothing more than to look into the beautiful blue but he doesn’t. Merlin knows exactly what the Prince wants to discuss but the warlock’s resolve is still intact and knows he can hold out until Arthur’s interest fades.

“Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” Arthur presses and Merlin resists the urge to yell.

“Why won’t you believe when I say its nothing?” The manservant asks through gritted teeth.

The Prince sighs heavily dropping his fork on to the table. “Because Merlin I know you and I know when you are upset about something but I’ve never seen you like this. You’re distant and withdrawn, the only way I can describe it is like a knight who has been rejected by a love interest.”

The bottom of Merlin’s stomach drops and cold races down his spine. It is so close to the truth but yet so far.

“So is it that,” Arthur asks somehow catching Merlin’s eyes, “You were rejected by a love interest?”

Arthur’s tone is of sincere concern if not a little disappointed but in Merlin’s head all he hears is mockery. It’s as if the Prince learned of Merlin’s feelings and is shoving them back in his face.

The manservant stands up. “I have laundry to do.” He says before fleeing.

Arthur does nothing to stop him.

 

Merlin manages to stay away from Arthur all day by doing the chores he’s supposed to do anyway. He finishes off the day with mucking out the horses stalls, his least favorite task, and with a little help from his magic; he gets most of the dung and stink off.

In the evening Arthur is dining with his father and all Merlin has to do is pour wine but he still dreads being in the presence of the Prince even at that distance.

Every time Merlin goes to refill Arthur’s cup he gets a generous whiff of the Prince’s natural scent. That smell alone heightens Merlin’s senses and he grows even angrier at himself.

Somehow he manages to make it through dinner without incident even when Uther decided to insult him for Arthur’s amusement.

 

“Come Merlin,” The Prince orders after bidding Uther a good night.

Merlin follows in step behind Arthur keeping his eyes on the stone floor and nearly running into the Prince when he stops abruptly.

Arthur turns to look at Merlin. “Merlin please tell me what is going on.” It’s a plea.

Merlin is stunned, never has Arthur actually pleaded. It almost melts his heart to see the concern Arthur has in his eyes. Clenching his fists Merlin fights the urge to kiss the man standing inches before him. “Arthur please, drop it.” It’s the warlock’s turn to plead.

Arthur sighs a reaches over and squeezes Merlin’s shoulder gently, sending trails of fire through the manservant’s body. “I wish you would trust me.” He says sadly before dropping his hand.

The words that come from Merlin’s mouth are out of his control. “You are the prince, Arthur and I am your manservant.” The words sound so harsh and nothing like the usual banter. The warlock nearly winces.

Arthur takes in a sharp breath and the concern vanishes from his eyes, turning them sharp and unyielding. Without another word, he spins away from Merlin and marches off, not seeming to care if Merlin is following.

“I won’t need you anymore tonight Merlin,” Arthur says when they reach his rooms, “Tomorrow we’re going hunting so have my horse ready first thing.”

“Yes sire, good night.” Merlin says, leaving the Prince at his door and hurries back to his own quarters. Once again he doesn’t eat. The anger in him is simmering so thickly in his stomach there is no room for any food.

 

When Merlin manages to sleep; his Arthur dreams are back and give him no peace through the night. He tosses and turns, cursing his love that keeps him so restless.

The next morning is worse than the first and not even cool water helps relieve some of the tension.

Grumbling under his breath Merlin prepares two horse, layering his mare with a majority of the supplies and leaving Arthur’s with the bare essentials.

Just as he finishes Arthur arrives with a warm smile none the less. It seems he has gotten over the scorn from Merlin the night before.

“Morning.” He greets rather energetically tossing Merlin a hot roll.

Merlin catches it and takes a bite, it turns to sod in his mouth but he somehow gets it to go down. “Morning.” He returns.

They don’t talk as they prepare to leave and soon they are on horseback, quickly putting Camelot behind them.

Hills and forests spring up around them. It’s a peaceful and beautiful place but brings nothing to comfort Merlin in his torment. The young warlock keeps his body huddled, almost protectively, and hopes Arthur says nothing.

The Prince seems completely occupied, clearly enjoying the scenery. “I love this fresh air and space.” Arthur says looking around happily.

Merlin doesn’t reply as the horse lulls him into a doze.

Two nights of very disturbed sleep and little food has left the manservant exhausted. He doesn’t achieve full sleep but he does get some rest listening to Arthur. The Prince isn’t making any particular noises but Merlin can hear the other man breathing and his little sighs of enjoyment. Merlin knows he is supposed to be distancing himself but he can’t ignore how relaxing listening to his friend is.

A while later they are surrounded by trees and the sounds of birds. Sunlight is warming the chilled air and it seems that there will be a very warm summer to look forward to.

Arthur is finding game but he doesn’t take up his cross bow. Rabbits and deer are showing up left and right but the Prince barely spares a glance as they pass.

“I thought we were hunting?” Merlin points  out rather confused as another rabbit practically sits in the road begging to be killed and Arthur passes it by. 

“I have a better plan.” The Prince says.

“Want to inform me on this better plan?” The warlock asks not liking this at all.

Arthur shakes his head without speaking and Merlin feels his headache coming back with a vengeance.

“Don’t worry you’ll enjoy it.” The Prince assures.

“I doubt that very much but I appreciate your enthusiasm.” Merlin grumbles hearing a chuckle from the other man.

They head further down the main road until Arthur suddenly climbs off his mount and veers off into the dense undergrowth, leading the horse.

"Arthur, where are you going?" Merlin calls watching the blond disappear.

When he receives no reply, the warlock jumps from his horse and hurries to follow. "Arthur, wait!" He shouts but of course he's ignored.

Thick vegetation keeps Merlin from seeing the other man fully and slows his progress considerably. Merlin briefly thinks about using magic to clear the area a little but reluctantly decides against it since Arthur is so close. So the manservant is left to push and pull his way through the branches and foliage while keeping hold of his mounts' leads.

Merlin finally makes it through the brush, out on to a meadow with knee high grass.

The meadow stretches out for miles showing specks in the distance of trees. A slight breeze is playing with the grass and it ripples like waves on the ocean.

Merlin can't see Arthur as he looks around but spots the Prince's horse not far away. The beast is lazily grazing with the reins dragging the ground.

"Arthur, stop being a prat!" The manservant shouts pushing his horse over towards Arthur's.

For a moment he hears nothing but the whistling of the grass as the wind passes over it. Merlin barely catches the battle cry before Arthur tackles the other man to the ground.

Merlin's face is pressed to the dirt with a very heavy Arthur laying on him. He isn’t hurt but Arthur’s weight isn’t exactly comfortable.

"Arthur." The Warlock groans, shifting to try and get the Prince to move. A few very small and very sharp rocks are pressing into his back adding to his mounting discomfort.

Arthur instead rolls Merlin until they're face to face and the Prince is straddling his chest. "Now that I have you where I want you, you're going to answer some questions." He says pressing his weight down with his hands flat on the manservant’s shoulders keeping the arms pinned to Merlin's side.

Merlin hisses, "Clotpoll!" Trying to ignore the weight constricting his oxygen and managing to take short breaths.

Arthur smirks and pinches the manservant's cheek. "You shouldn't insult the Prince, especially when he has you like this." He pats Merlin's pinched cheek.

"Aren't you the one that calls me an idiot all the time?" He asks grinning up at the Prince.

"So you're just proving my point?" Arthur snorts.

Merlin rolls his eyes. "Prince Arthur is always right." He huffs.

Arthur laughs. "You choose now to be a proper servant."

Merlin sticks his tongue out. "One agrees when a particular large Prince is suffocating him slowly."

The Prince glares. "I am not fat!" He mutters with a slight pout.

Merlin nearly melts, Arthur looks so adorable and his weight on the warlock's chest is sending pleasant shivers through him. The manservant resists the urge to reach up and caress the other man's cheek.

"You must really stop distracting me when I'm supposed to be questioning you," Arthur says giving a not very convincing scolding look,” The last couple days you've been... not yourself."

Merlin knows exactly where this is going.

"Yet every time I try to ask you what the is problem, you flee..."

"I did not flee!" Merlin interrupts.

Arthur rolls his eyes, shaking his head. "Fine, you escape, twice, and with really bad excuses.”

"Not better." Merlin mutters but he is ignored.

"I want to know what is upsetting you so I can fix it." Arthur says almost pleading.

"It's nothing." The manservant tires.

"It's obviously not nothing." The Prince snaps, his composure failing him.

Merlin shakes his head. "Nothing." He repeats lamely.

Arthur frowns. "Merlin stop being stubborn."

"I'm not being stubborn you prat, I am telling you there is nothing wrong!" Merlin growls.

"Merlin tell me!"

"I can't!"

The Prince falls silent, eyeing Merlin steadily.

The manservant tries to sink into the ground but Arthur's eyes kept him solid.

"Why?" Arthur asks quietly and shifts his weight, releasing the man under him.

Merlin turns his face away no longer able to look his master in the eye. "Arthur, please don't." It is a plea.

The Prince's warm hand grips his face and gently turns it to towards him. Blue eyes meet blue. Arthur's face holds a soft smile, an encouraging smile. "You can tell me." He presses.

Merlin bites his lip, he really didn't want to reveal himself, but he is already lying to Arthur about his magic he can’t lie about his feelings, not anymore and damn the consequences!

"Please, Merlin."

That's when his resolve truly breaks, in the end; Merlin can't deny Arthur anything.

"I didn't want my feelings to come out. I wanted to be angry and I blamed you. I didn't realize what I felt at first but then it became clear. I didn't want you to know." Once the words start, they fall out on they're own and Merlin can barely recognize them as he dreads what is to come.

Arthur moves closer, bracing his arms on either side of Merlin's head.

The warlock's hands have somehow ended up on the Prince's thighs and his fingers are kneading the soft flesh under the thin trousers.

"I still don't want you to know but I don't want to lie to you anymore. Arthur I...I...ummm..." Merlin can't get the words out! They're lodged in his throat and he fears for a moment he might actually choke.

Merlin is starting to panic when Arthur smirks smugly and leans in to plant his lips gently on Merlin's.

The manservant is frozen; his entire focus is on the slightly chapped man mouth moving on his unresponsive lips. Merlin is stunned and can think of anything but the movement on his mouth. He’s so caught up in his disbelief that Merlin forgets to react. 

Arthur suddenly pulls back, hovering above him. "Merlin?" He's eyes are questioning and uncertain. For once Arthur looks afraid.

Merlin blinks at the Prince trying to bring himself back to the moment.

Arthur's face morphs into amusement as he realizes the other man is struck dumb.

"Are you back?" He asks leaning forward to brush his lips along Merlin's jawline.

"What?" The warlock gasps.

Arthur's tongue is licking down Merlin's throat. "You left." The Prince murmurs against the manservant's skin as if that's enough of an explanation.

"Left?" Merlin is having trouble concentrating with Arthur’s ministrations and can't quiet figure out what left is.

“Don’t leave me Merlin.” The other man whispers nipping at the warlock’s ear lobe.

Merlin can’t stop a moan escaping, his hands grip the trousers tightly to ground himself, and bring back some coherent thought.

“Is that your answer?” Arthur chuckles enjoying evey torturous moment.

The manservant finally pulls himself into some sort of sanity to focus. “Answer to?” He parrots.

“Never leaving me.” The Prince clarifies, looking vulnerable.

Merlin reaches up to cup Arthur’s face, keeping his eyes level. “I will never leave you Arthur.” The manservant vows. He feels his magic in those words and knows that they are attached to his soul.

The smile that lights up the Prince’s face is like none Merlin had ever seen and he never wants that smile to die.

They stare at each other, smiling broadly and almost forgetting the whole world around them.

Merlin feels this moment needs a little banter just to make it feel more real. “If I did leave, I doubt you would let me get very far, you’re kind of useless without me.” He says grinning at his Prince. 

Arthur blinks slowly before his face breaks out with a soft laugh. “Idiot.” He murmurs, stroking a finger down his manservant’s face.

“Clotpoll.” Merlin whispers sliding his hands through Arthur’s hair.

The warlock pulls the Prince down and reclaims the lips that he wants to enjoy for many years to come. Arthur is the Prince and future king of Camelot but Merlin knows he will always stick by his vow and never leave Arthur’s side.


End file.
